YEEAAHHH so after the poster sale that coey and i had a while back, we still have a few left over that haven't sold. we'd like to get these off our hands before the new batches of stuff gets here-- and there's a lot of stuff coming x____x

SOOOO we're going to be selling these last few for $20 each as opposed to the $25 posters normally are. shipping inside the US and canada will be $4, and $8 world wide.
to order, please email me at shysuiko@gmail.com

by coey, available: 2
by shy, available: 1
by shy, available: 1


ALSO there are still a few pre-order packages available for the little white and little dark book. pre-orders are $27 and include the book [8.5" x 11", 50 pgs.], a set of the stickers, and a new print by me, from the stories.
if you're interested, you can order here, on the books page: [link]

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+EDiT+
~Pkzilla MADE CO N I THE BEST NEW ICONS EVER : D

lendz & hilton =w=
+EDiT+

GUESS WHAT.
i finally finished the little white and little dark book-- the first two lilW & lilD stories and art from me, coey, and *souls-poison. it's now ready for pre-orders~
pre-orders are $27 and include the book [8.5" x 11", 50 pgs.], a set of the stickers, and a new print by me, from the stories. [the lithograph i originally promised, regrettably, didn't print even decently, so people who pre-order will be getting a print of the image instead and their choice of one other print from my gallery.]

there's only 60 pre-order slots available. after they run out, the book will be available for $20, but without the extra swag.
you can order it here, on the books page: [link]

SPEAKING OF, we finally got around to building a proper shop. XDD it's for coey and i both, annnddd pretty bare at the moment. that will be remedied soon. >_____>

[link] [link] [link] [link] [link] [link] [link] [link]

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+EDiT+
uuuhhg, god. i hate being sick. =______=
thanks to everyone who gave suggestions for my art funk. i appreciate the effort and thought, and if anyone has any other suggestions i'd be more than happy to hear them.
as for the whole art funk thing, it's still being a pain in the ass. i've been trying to completely put serious work aside and take a break from it, and just work on chibi pin-ups in the meantime, but there's still that drive to work on legit work chipping away at the back of my skull. and then being sick like i was hit by a truck hasn't helped either.
but, i'm going to work on legit stuff from time to time even while i'm supposed to be taking hiatus. there's a lot of images that are half-done and won't take a lot of brain power to finish, so i will probably do that just so i can feel somewhat productive without stressing myself out.

as for the chibi pin-ups, i'm about half way done with the calendar and since this project is primarily what i'm working on i should have it up and ready to start selling in a couple weeks. the first little white and little dark book is also pretty much finished, so i'll have more about that before much longer as well.
i drag myself back to bed now.
nyquil is my new bff. [hugs bottle]
+EnD+



i'm afraid that the art problems i mentioned a while back have just gotten worse. every issue has remained, and grown all the more intense. as well as new problems.
it's gotten to the point the only thing which remains in me artistically is the raw desire to make art, artistic drive. i don't even find inspiration anymore. nothing interests me anymore, and ideas that excited and engaged me not long ago don't anymore. i still see art other people do that i wish i had done, things that i love. but when i sit down to work on something myself, nothing's there.

i have this sheet of scribbly thumbs that coey did for me, things that she would like to see me do, that she gave to me for possible ideas. i liked them all, and there were a handful that i was so thrilled to do, i couldn't wait to get to. now none of them hold my interest. neither do any of the ideas i wrote and drew thumbs for myself a while back.

i feel like all the feeling of my art has been drained. while i still long to draw and work-- GOD, fucking god, do i ever want to work again-- my inspiration's dead and i don't feel passionate about anything i work on anymore. i've been working on a particular thing for a couple weeks now, and while it's up to par skill-wise, and an idea that i did, and still do to a great deal, like, i felt nothing while doing it. it felt almost more like i was drawing it out of habit, or assignment that out of passion for art.
so that's what i mean by all that remains is the raw desire to make art. i want to. art is one of the biggest things in my life and one of the most precious parts to me. i still have that drive to draw. but that's all i've had for a while now.

i'm terrified.
because this has been going on for so long, it literally feels like the end of my art. as if i had a set amount of artistic juju to spend in my life and i ran out not long ago. pretty much everything i've completed in the last 3 months was something i started before this whole shit-storm. and the few exceptions to that are things that i don't really have much of a care for. i don't want to loose art. i don't want to give it up. but i feel like i'm just driving myself mad by trying so hard, spending what isn't there anymore. but i have to try, because i will go mad without working on art. it's as much of me as any other base faculty.
i just don't know which is worse, going crazy from frustration and heart break or from lack of artistic fulfillment in my life.

i've been depressed enough before to know that feeling of loosing care about life, and having to wind myself up just to do the most basic of things. how everything feels heavy when life's like that. even the most unimportant moment feels like an anvil in your gut. i've been starting to feel this way a lot the last couple months. just numb, blank and heavy. the only thing that's kept me from real depression again is coey. she's the only thing that keeps it in check. and i'm so grateful for her, and all she does for me; even the tiniest things. but i don't want to keep making her deal with this. and i don't want to remain like this. i want to regain what i once had. i want the passion and to love art, and feel the art that i'm doing again. it's the only thing missing in my life, and i lost it somehow.
if i knew how to get it back, i'd work myself to death to regain it. lacking effort or will's not the issue. i'm just lost as to what to do.

please, i don't want sympathy. i appreciate it, i really do, but it's the reason that until this 'art funk' i rarely posted anything so detailed about my personal problems. please don't complement me, or try to comfort that i'm 'so talented and i will get through this'. again, i'm grateful, but that's not what i need, or what would be good for me now.
what i'm writing this for, this time, is for help. for anything at all. i've long since exhausted all others i could turn to, and i don't want to keep pulling from and burdening them. i know that most suggestions i get will be things i've already tried multiple times, but i'm just at a complete loss. art is such a massive part of myself and my life. if i can't make art, then i've lost one of the few things that i felt purpose for in my life.

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+EDiT+
i've gotten a few notes about this in the last couple days so i thought i should make the announcement here.
there's several orders that still haven't been shipped yet because we haven't received the prints from the printer. we've been waiting for our prints for a while now, and i can't seem to get the guy who runs it to respond to me. we should have had them a couple weeks ago, but still don't and i have no idea if some personal matters have held him up in finishing our order or what.

the orders i'm talking about being delayed are mostly those from the poster sale, as we don't have the capability to print larger than 13' x 19' and were having them printed through this small company. soooo i'll keep you posted.

i emailed him the last time 4 days ago [so says gmail] and if i don't get a response by tomorrow night i'll probably email every address on the site, and if still no response a few days after that, go through paypal and try to get our money back. at which point i will refund everyone that bought posters. i'm really hoping it doesn't come to that since co n i were looking forward to the posters but we'll see.
+EnD+



hnnnggg.
been completely slack on all the productive things in my life like normal recently. hope to remedy that soon.

but first--
WE GOT A NEW KITTY CAT ;D
mom got her own place and i fell in love with this sweet cat at cat welfare, soooo we got her a couple days after mom moved. she's so much smaller than the cats i'm used to-- mom's are 20lb maine coons. she's only 6lb. XD

she's such a sweetie tho. <3<3<3 her name is padou~ and she apparently loves chicken. =w=

rah's been here for a few days, will be until tuesday. :3 one of the big reasons i've gotten absolutely nothing done for days. been hanging out and taking care of her and coey. we bought the first three seasons of criminal minds and have just been sitting around and watching those. >____>

oh, well, hello there, padou~ <3
WHY DOES SHE CURL UP AT MY FOOT IT'S SO CUTE GOD DAMMIT.

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